The Joys of Being Vegetarian and other gloats...

I have not eaten meat for around 15 years now. That is a slight spin on the truth. I did get sozzled when I was 16 and eat two Big Mac Meals but that was long enough ago now to be erased as a dodgy reference.
        I was in the car on the way back from Wales with my Mum and a saw a lorry load of sheep going to slaughter. They could of course have been on a journey to a new and grassier field but that was besides the point at the time. In the way that I only wish I could make life altering decisions now and stick to them, I decided then and there to become a vegetarian. I did not believe it was fair to jam these fluffy beasts in to a lorry and ferry them off to be de-robed and chopped up for mine and others consumption. So that night on a family meal out, I ordered a platter of all the possible meats you could indulge in then called it a day.
       I think steak was my favourite over all. My Dad cooked a mean steak and chips, made all the more amazing by the fact he didn't/couldn't cook anything else. But cows are also my favourite edible animal and therein is where the problem lies. To me, animals are not just creatures who hang around eating, farting and crapping with the intention of ending up in stews, roasts and betwixt floury baps. They have names, jobs, families and feelings. I feel like when I look a cow in the eye, it knows. I continued to eat fish for a long time until I realised that the reason for my vegetarianism was pretty much blown apart by this. My sister would justify it as they are so slimy and ugly they deserve to be eaten. But I couldn't really let that lie. In my mind I applied this to people and just thought, that is a bit unfair. They can't help being ugly. It may sound silly that I would connect the emotions of a fish to an ugly person but this is exactly why I can't eat animals whether they inhabit the sea, hang out in the sky or idle on the land.
      It is quite a hard one to argue when discussion is raised about vegetarianism. And unfortunately people (meat eaters) do really feel the need to argue with you on these points. 'Animals wouldn't be here if it wasn't for us.' Well lucky old animals that they have such selfless and altruistic owners who blatantly have their best interest at heart. Bollocks. I don't disagree that animals should be eaten. I am just saying I can't do it. I have friends with a small holding. I visit on a regular basis to see the new lambs or piglets or the new cows they have got in. And I know that those animals will go for meat. But they will have a darn happy life on the farm before hand and be cared for night and day. It is a ridiculously hard profession to be in, especially if you give a crap about the animals. And those people should be praised and praised over and over again. Luckily we have had celebrity chefs promoting free-range produce and animal rights and really showing people what happens to the pig before it is turned in to bacon or sausages. It is amazing how many young people do not connect the food type to the animal. Perhaps they grow bacon trees in poly tunnels somewhere? I must say I do love to watch these things and see people's reactions. If you can't bear to see an animal being killed for you to eat then DON'T BLOODY EAT IT! I can gloat away til the cows come home (I have a room ready) as I don't have to worry about this. As I have cheffed on and off for a few years and take great interest in food and flavours, I find it interesting to see how they are killed and what the different parts of the animals are used for. However I cannot sit and watch a program on battery farming without blubbing the whole way through. I cried at Countryfile the other day when some of the cows had to be put down due to contracting TB. Countryfile? Seriously? I thought Neighbours was bad enough but to be reduced to tears by a chumbly Sunday afternoon show hosted by John and his jumpers? That is a new level.
       On my first day as a chef, I had to cut the nipples off the pork underbelly. I think they thought it would be funny to challenge the vegetarian. But I did it, bloody hard as it was. I got blisters from the global knife it was so tough. But I didn't mind because all the meat we used there was locally sourced from a reputable butchers that even came with leaflets from the farm with pictures of the animals waving. I don't mind cooking meat for family and friends but I have come to love whole-heartedly the humble lentil, the cheeky chick pea and the myriad of vegetables with all their versatility. I must say I could never be a vegan. I love cheese too much. But again if you can buy organic, free-range and try really hard to source your dairy from local farms where you know how the animals have been treated. If this is what everyone starts to do then there will be no demand for unhappy meat and dairy, hoorah!
      
Let's hope for happy udders all round this year....      
     

Too late for christmas cakes?

Hallo

As a little welcome blog to myself as well as all others, I would just like to state that it is not too late to make your Christmas cake.

Always remember to start the process the night before the planned 'bake day' as you need to soak the fruity bits in plenty of booze. If you are making your cake later than October half term (classically when most mothers make theirs) then it is important to slug more brandy in with the fruit so the cake is rich and moist from the word go. You can also use sherry or rum. I like to use the Delia recipe as does my Mum and many other wise women.

It is also a necessity to have a little tipple of sherry when making your Christmas cake. The festive cheer is reflected in the mixing process. And don't forget to invite your nearest and dearest to have a wish on the cake mix. I am thoroughly convinced that wishes made in this way come true almost 100% of the time and make the cake taste better.

You can keep the cake under your bed if you wish. However it is just as good in an air tight container in the pantry. For an awfully alcoholic Christmas cake, feed once a week from now. Or for more subtle tones maybe just twice between now and Christmas.

Always leave a day or so between marzipan application and top coat of icing, whether it be the treacherously sweet roll out sort or the more classic royal icing.

Happy Baking